Just for fun: Rhyan the Reptile Wrangler
Photo: www.guardian.com.au
“Sorry I can’t!” Rhyan said to no one in particular since the other kids weren’t paying any attention, “I gotta go help this lady get a lizard out of her bathtub!”
He was obviously in love with this cool job I had just proposed to him. I had offered him three bucks, and he had calmly replied “Can you make it $5?”
I told him I thought I could manage that, and we headed toward my apartment. I was hurrying behind him on his scooter, as he wondered aloud, “What color is it?”
“Brown,” I said, almost out of breath.
“Brown? It’s probably a gecko!”
Frankly, I could care less, I was just happy that the kid was psyched to catch it. I can’t stand lizards; I’ve been traumatized by them ever since one of them took a big poop on my pillow. So when I discovered the lizard that afternoon in the shower window, I had coated the doorway of the bathroom and floors with this very expensive organic lizard repellent, to quarantine the thing in the bathroom while I went to find my little pal, Rhyan.
Rhyan is by far the friendliest kid in the complex. He can’t be more than 9 years old and always says hi whenever I see him. But the real reason I thought of Rhyan for this job was the day he got me to pet a snake. He said it was a garden variety, harmless snake, but — ew! Quite the little expert, though, he had invited me to feel how “reeeeally smooth” it was, as it was wrapped around his little arm.
This kid had really won my heart, though, the time he saw me lugging a big laundry bag almost as big as he was. “You need any help with that, Alex?” What a well-mannered little kid! What child does that nowadays—without a prompt from some adult?
Now I wondered aloud, “Will we need a container to catch him, Rhyan?
“Let’s ask my mom!”
“If we need a container?” Then I got it. Of course, he was going to ask his mom if he could go to this strange lady’s apartment to catch a lizard. Helloooo! A well-trained child!
We stopped at the apartment on the way, and a few seconds later, he was outside again. “My mom wants to know where you live.”
Just then a woman stuck her head out the back door. “Hi,” she smiled sweetly. I tell her where I live and explain why I’ve just “hired” her son, and she nodded knowingly, “He’s good at that.”
So, with Mom sanctioning our “mission” we bounded off to my apartment. (Well, he was doing the bounding, I was just trying to keep up!) When I opened the door, Rhyan, as if on cue, goes, “Nice place you got here!” And I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Two seconds later, I heard his little voice, “Do you have a gas mask?” Rhyan had found the quarantine area.
“Oh! Rhyan, I’m sorry —it just smells really bad, but it can’t hurt you. It’s just an organic repellent, made of garlic and cinnamon…” He held his nose and nodded, never taking his eyes off the target, now plainly visible against the white shower tiles. Rhyan had a job to do, and not missing a beat, he asked me for a big, long stick and I ran to get my broom and a plastic container.
He jumped in the stall and wasting no time at all, started poking at the creature, coaxing it down into the container, while I stood at a safe distance listening to the color commentary. “Oh he’s angry! Look! His mouth is open…! He is… angry!’ And just like that, Rhyan captured his prisoner. Mission accomplished! He Zero-Dark-Thirtied the little guy. (Well he was still alive, but Geronimo’s bathroom days were over).